Not Alone
by reivers
Summary: Jack and Ianto are still reeling from the events of Exit Wounds, and Jack reflects a little on himself in an attempt to quell Ianto's loneliness. Spoilers: Exit Wounds


_A/N: This is my first bit of smut, so be gentle. Most importantly, enjoy.  
_

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Torchwood.

**Not Alone** or **Happy You're Here**

Gwen had left three hours ago. She was home with Rhys by now, and Ianto hadn't left the coffee pot. He was standing over the counter, back hunched, and hands grasping the edge so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. Ianto had gotten lost in his thoughts before he had even plugged the machine in, but Jack understood that some things were more important than coffee, so he stayed in his office and demanded nothing. Ianto's mind was blank. He wasn't thinking of anything, and considering how recent the recent events were, it was less painful for him that way.

Jack sat at his desk. His knees were bent in such a way so that only the tips of his boots were touching the floor. Jack's fingers were laced together and his forehead rested in his hands. From time to time he looked down at Ianto, wondering why he was still there. Jack was feeling hopeless. He had lost so many in his long life, and the only thing he was able to do was move on and try to help those around him. He left his office, and walked down the steps to Ianto.

"You should go home," Jack said. Ianto jumped. He hadn't noticed Jack approach. "It's late, Ianto."

"Someone needs to stay and keep an eye on things," Ianto replied. He didn't look up from the counter.

"But I don't think that machine is going to do much of anything." Jack smiled sadly and put a hand on Ianto's back.

Ianto turned at softness of the touch and looked Jack in the eye. He had been crying. Of course he had. He had just lost his brother for the second time, and he blamed himself for both occasions. Jack had every reason to cry.

" I don't want to be alone," Ianto said. "Not tonight."

Jack understood perfectly. No one had had to be alone that night, not even Gray. John Hart had been with him, and so had Jack, despite being less than welcome. Gwen, she was home with her husband. That just left Jack and Ianto, alone in the quiet hub, and both glad to have the other man as company. Jack swore he could hear Tosh and Owen bickering and laughing. His ears, old as they were, were still playing tricks on him. His mind was still as sharp as ever, however, and it was screaming for human contact.

"I'll walk you home," Jack said.

Ianto didn't protest.

Neither man spoke as they walked to Ianto's flat. The smell of ash was carried by the same wind that made Jack's great coat flutter after him. The destruction was still fresh. Everyone was inside. The streets – no, the entire world was quiet. Jack put his arm around Ianto and pulled him closer, but even his subconscious was confused as to whether it was an act of selfless protection of Ianto or self-preservation of himself. Either way, Ianto's reaction was the same: he melted into Jack's touch and let him lead the way.

At the door to the flat, Ianto frantically searched his coat pockets for his keys.

"Here," Jack said handing them over. "I found them on the coffee table at the hub. Thought you might need them."

"Thanks," Ianto mumbled. He was tired and embarrassed. The last nights had taken their toll on him. He was in pieces. He couldn't think straight. If Jack hadn't walked him, he'd have wandered all night. After Ianto opened the door he turned to Jack. "I want you to stay," he said. "I want you to tell me what it's like."

"What what is like?"

"Losing everyone you love. I want to know if we feel the same." Ianto grabbed Jack's hand and squeezed. "I need to know if I'm alone." Ianto's voice was pleading now.

Jack didn't say anything for a moment. Instead, he lead Ianto into his flat and shut the door behind them. Ianto looked at him, eyes ready to overflow with tears. "Ianto, get to bed. I'll be there in a moment." Ianto obeyed.

Jack went into the kitchen to collect himself. He nibbed through the cupboards, and noticed old photos of Ianto and Lisa tacked to the refrigerator door. There was no way Jack would be able to lie to this man. No, not after everything he had been through. Jack respected Ianto far more than that.

Jack entered the bedroom to find Ianto curled up in his bed. He had stripped down to his boxers and wrapped himself in his quilt. Jack was struck at how fragile he looked, how young. He climbed in bed next to Ianto, on top of the sheets, and wrapped his arm around him, using the other to prop himself up. He whispered nonsense into Ianto's ear in an attempt to calm him and quiet his crying.

"It's harder than you'd ever imagine," Jack said. "Living all these years, losing everyone, being alone." He paused and took a breath. "This is one of the few times when I don't feel like that. I feel helpless and angry with myself. I'm blaming myself for losing three lives today, and I'm regretting that they weren't all three mine. But, I'm not lying to myself. Not for one minute. I'm not alone, Ianto. Neither are you."

Ianto turned to Jack, allowing the quilt to constrict him even more. He buried himself in Jack's chest, and his tears soaked into Jack's white undershirt. "You're the only one I have left," he sobbed somewhat incoherently. "Lisa and Tosh and Owen and.." His voice trailed off as his sobs worsened, and Jack started to rock him back and forth slowly.

"If I could change it," Jack said, "I would. I would make it all go away just to see you smile up at me. But, there's nothing I can do to help you. The twenty-first century is when it all changes. The only thing we can do is change with it."

Ianto tilted his head back a little and looked up at Jack. He kissed Jack deftly on the lips, but when Jack didn't press for more, Ianto became more fervent in his passion. He wrestled his arms free from the quilt and wrapped them around Jack's neck and ran his fingers through Jack's hair. Jack responded gently at first, but gentleness soon turned into a furious need. He pressed himself against Ianto and used the hand around Ianto's waist to press Ianto back into him. Their tongues were tangled, but they were still separated by just a few layers of cloth.

Ianto tried desperately to free himself, but he was too occupied with the kiss to put a lot of thought into it. The blanket rode down of its own accord, leaving Ianto and Jack flush against each other. Ianto broke the kiss and lowered himself a bit. He unbuttoned Jack's black pants and left a little kiss where the closure had laid against skin. Ianto lifted Jack's shirt up gently and worked his way upwards, placing quick and fevered kisses wherever he could. Soon, Jack's shirt was off and their mouths were engaged once more. Desperately, they pressed hardness against hardness, savoring the friction created by their cotton cages.

Ianto pulled away, breathless, and positioned his head underneath of Jack's chin. He placed one last kiss at the base of Jack's neck. Jack, breathing hard, let himself enjoy this one act of gentleness. After a moment Ianto's breathing returned to normal and even began to slow a bit. Jack knew he was exhausted and allowed the man to sleep. He kissed Ianto's forehead.

"We're never alone," Jack whispered.


End file.
